“They Say …” And Who are “They?”

I finally met the THEY’s the other day. The THEY’s were lurking and smirking down in the Control Room on the lower level.

THEY were gabbing, criticizing, speculating, boasting, back-stabbing, and vying for attention. Each one thought he knew everything. Each one made claims about being right, about having all the answers. THEY talked in generalities, nothing specific.

I was glad to meet them. People refer to them frequently, as in, “THEY say …” to prove a point, impress others, whatever. I had lots of questions for them.

I asked the one who claimed to be the Chief THEY – chief at least for the moment — why THEY were so popular.

He said, “Simple. Some people need attention and THEY – that is, we – help them stand out by looking authoritative. Then there are some who think that information, even undocumented information, makes them look smart, prestigious, and powerful; we give them that information … well, sort of.

“There are also those who don’t trust what they know. And still others who just don’t know what else to say.

“In short, put pressure on someone and voices start popping up in her head saying, “you don’t know what you’re talking about because, truthfully, you’re not really that bright or interesting or informed. So, people turn to us – to THEY — for a bail-out.”

“What do you mean, ‘bail-out?’” I asked.

“We … THEY … give them generalities that are usually untraceable and sound so authoritative that few people can refute what is said,” he replied.

“For example?”

“Three months ago, this department head guy was promoting some unworkable idea about a software platform. Actually, he didn’t know what he was talking about, yet he had the power of position and persuasion to get his way … almost.

He assumed everyone in a meeting on the issue endorsed his view until the irritable and always irritating manager from another department challenged him.

“The department head seemed trapped. So, THEY – that is, most of us – jumped in and told him what to say. He was too threatened and unfocused to resist, and couldn’t remember facts or anything substantial to rebut the criticism. He did what we told him and responded, ‘THEY say that several Fortune 500 companies are about to use the same software.’

“Then one of his loyal staffers chimed in with …”

“Let me tell it,” said someone named Experts. “I instructed the staffer to say, ‘I read somewhere that a lot of experts think this software will be a game-changer.’ Cool, huh? But I also made sure he didn’t identify the source because, to be honest, the actual article didn’t quite say what he suggested that it said. “

“Success,” said the Chief THEY. “No more objections from anyone, and the crummy idea rushed forward to become a very expensive and, ultimately, a failed program.”

Another member of the group with the unusual name of Customers jumped into the conversation. “The easiest way to win support for your program in business is to mention customers in the abstract. That’s my expertise,” she said, scanning the group, “or so THEY say.”

“I don’t understand,” I confessed.

“Here’s how it works,” said Customers. “Say, the company’s director of advertising proposes to launch a new ad campaign that features products for the automotive industry. Prominent in the ad is a yellow American car. The CEO loves everything about the ad.

“To the executive in charge of European sales, however, the campaign looks too American for his region. Yet he senses that he has no say in the matter: it’s a corporate campaign. So, he shows the prototype ad to a high-level buddy-customer and the customer’s assistant, both of whom say it’s not their favorite ad.

“The sales executive then goes over the head of the advertising director, to the CEO, and informs him, as we advised, ‘Our European customers say the ad won’t work.’ The CEO panics and the ad campaign is put on hold for Europe.”

The Chief THEY took charge of the conversation again. “We have lots of other ‘THEY say’ stories. For instance, how many times have you heard, ‘THEY say that we’re definitely going to get 12 to 18 inches of snow.’

“But our pride and joy comes when we stop all efforts to change an organization by recruiting folks to say, ‘THEY will never approve that’ or ‘THEY won’t let us do that.’ Most everyone falls for this one, even though no one knows who ‘THEY’ are. There are still some, ‘yes we can’ dreamers out there, but we’ll wear them down before long.”

“There’s no stopping you guys, is there?” I asked.

“Not really,” the Chief THEY responded. As long as people don’t want to take the time to substantiate what they’re talking about,

… or don’t want to deal with specifics,
… or don’t have the courage to be silent and, instead, resort to generalities,
… or no one holds them accountable for verifying what they’re saying,
we will be in business and there will be no change.”

I started to walk away, but turned and said defiantly: “You’re wrong about change. They say that ‘time changes things.’”

“Yeah, that’s one of our favorites,” said the Chief THEY.

Richard Skaare 06.24.09
Photo credit: Annie Ominous

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